Tuesday, February 20, 2007
9:53 PM
bahh... okkay... so i didn't go and visit my granny yesterday as i had planned... went to one of my cousin's church friend hse instead. haha. he stays at queenstown and i met my cousin at dobhy gourd (dunno how to spell lahs...) mrt at 5.30pm... haha. watied for her friends to arrive before heading off to harbourfront to take a bus to his place... went there with a mindset to really learn more about how the people from other churches relate to each other. that night was quite fun... had dinner there, and played a few games of blackjack... something that i learnt from that day was really how well they know each other. there wasn't much spritual connection that day... but i can sincercly feel the family connection between each other. i felt kinda weird due to the age gap between me and some of the rest (considering that our caregroup people are kinda around our age... and i'm a grad! making me one of the oldest...) ya... but they really know each other well. its like a true family... a feeling that i'm unable to discribe... something special that stood out... that something that i dun really feel in my own caregroup... yes... we do make an effort to know one another, talk to each other... but how much do we know about the people in our caregroup... the ones that we call brothers... family... how deep do we know them... how deep do we know ALL of them... effort was made... but often this only applies to just this someone... taking example... me and my sheep or me and alvin. the only people in my unit that i really know QUITE well... but still... not as well... another thing that i found out wad that they even know the friends of the people around them... despite them being from different school. think this is somthing that we have been struggling with... especially since we are known much as a chung cheng group... people get really sensitive when talking all about chungcheng... or stuffs of other schools... not sure if i am saying this in the correct way... but ya... haha... the people are also very interdepent. they are people who know that they are able to fall back onto their other cell mates or church mates when they are in trouble... kinda like the 10cent parable... i'm preety sure that when that situation comes... they will have one whole list of church members that they can seek help from...
went over to my cousin's hse to stay overnight as today we went to pasir ris park to have our "annual" picnic at our usual spot. haha. have been going there for picnic for quite some years already. didn't really do much there... only biked from PA over to downtown and back to PA again. haha. but it was qutie fun as i have not been out with my cousins for quite some time le...
went cycling with meiqing after that when we went back to my aunt's hse... cycled from pasir ris to changi village and back again. haha... was quite tiring... but really enjoyed it. enjoy talking with that cousin of mine. haha. found out that we have this habit of cycling off somewhere far after picnic everyyear.. haha...
watch men tu with three of my cousins (kelwin, meiqing and grace)... the show was great... and it was really a show that set me thinking... just how much would someone go to fill the emptyness in their heart... the price that one would pay... to get the hole filled just 1% for that 1min or so... is it really worth it? and is my heart really filled? filled by the love and grace of God? something that i wonder... why isit that at times... we would just fall into temption to try and fill that "hole" of ours... even when we claim that we already have the God element in our heart... isit really worth is to dive into temption just to fill up 1% of our hole for a mear one min or so? just how much do i trust in God... and just how much do i allow God to fill up my hole... isit 50%? 90%? 99.9999999999%??
oh... just want to take this space here to apologise to the people that i have "D-ed" against for the past two days... realised that my tone have been super D and really felt quite bad... feel that now of days... i get very comptitive very easily... even over small matter... and i do get quite D... in the wrong timing...
+ AMEN
